I’m coming out of the closet in honor of Pride Month. But for a different reason.
I’m almost 12 months postpartum after my second baby and to say it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride would be an understatement.
After I had Sofia in May of 2023, while the normal stresses of new parenthood were present, I didn’t experience what many others would describe as “postpartum issues.” I never felt like I couldn’t regulate my emotions with “me time” or a self-care afternoon.
But all of that changed after I had Luca in July of 2024.
I recognize that some of this change in feeling is because we, until very recently, had two under two. That alone brings on a new level of stress and anxiety that most do not experience when they have their second child (presumably more than 14 months after the first). But after Luca arrived, I felt fundamentally different. I learned at that time that it takes two years for a birthing mother‘s body to get back to a place of equilibrium. Two years?! I couldn’t believe it.
Given these new, confusing feelings, I was trying everything to feel “normal“ again. I started working out on a regular schedule. I began therapy. I was continuing to eat and drink well. I was trying to live in the moment and enjoy every milestone that came along. I was doing all the things I thought would help me out of this “rut,” but I still didn’t feel like myself.
When you hear about women suffering from postpartum, you assume, or are thought to believe, it’s depression. And I didn’t feel this way. I felt overly anxious all the time. My highs were high and my lows were low. I never felt in equilibrium. So I decided to consult my OB/GYN (thanks to the prodding of my best friend who had had her first baby two weeks before my second) to see if there was something deeper going on with me. I learned at that appointment that having postpartum symptoms can manifest into one (or both) of two things: depression and/or anxiety. I also learned that these symptoms can appear after one pregnancy but not another. All very normal. I was grateful to have an answer! By the end of that appointment, I had a prescription waiting for me to help combat my often crippling anxiety. And I can say with absolute certainty and honesty that it has absolutely changed my life during this trying period.
I feel normal again! I feel like “the old me.” Sure, the stress of parenthood is still there and I know it will always be there. But I no longer have only high highs and low lows. I feel like I have control of my life again and how I feel and how I handle stressful and overwhelming situations, which I felt like I couldn’t do before the pills.
So this is a PSA for all the postpartum mamas, especially those who are approaching or at nine months+ postpartum (when apparently things are at their worst hormonally), consult your OB/GYN and see if you’re a good candidate for some postpartum medication. Forget any ridiculous stigma attached. Get the help you need so you can continue to be the best mom you can. And for god’s sake, don’t we deserve to feel good?!
As a final PSA, therapy is THE BEST. Would recommend over and over and over again.
Now, off you go… in pursuit of your equilibrium, again.
